I’m going to be beginning nursing college in January 2022 and have a query about potential future obligations to my boyfriend. He has supplied to drive me to all of my college obligations till my license is restored in Might 2022. My various can be to pay for a ride-share which might value $2,000 or extra per thirty days.
That is clearly very beneficiant and I’m deeply appreciative. He might be making massive sacrifices of his time to assist me with this.
Our relationship is nice, and I don’t see that altering. We’ve even talked about getting married, however that may not occur till after nursing college. (We each graduate at nearly the identical time.)
I do know that pre-written agreements in a wedding could be useful in conditions like this in case of separation. I’m making an attempt to be accountable not realizing the long run. If he and I do break up, would I’ve any obligation to compensate him for his assist? If that’s the case, is there an settlement we will make beforehand to keep away from that unlikely state of affairs?
-Nervous Nursing Pupil
Pricey Nervous,
It’s unimaginable to plan for each nightmare state of affairs that might happen throughout a breakup. I believe you’re on fairly protected turf accepting your boyfriend’s generosity, although.
Sometimes, {couples} want a written settlement when important belongings or debt is concerned. For single {couples} shopping for a home collectively, for instance, a legally binding settlement is a should. You’d desire a home partnership settlement that spells out who would get to remain within the residence and the way you’d handle any associated money owed when you broke up. However until your boyfriend has requested you to signal a contract spelling out his compensation for being your chauffeur, it might be robust for him to sue you for his providers within the occasion that the 2 of you cut up.
What I’d fear extra about is the toll that this association will take in your relationship. It sounds such as you’re going to be spending loads of time within the automobile collectively if paying for ride-shares would value you $2,000 a month. Which will sound peachy proper now. However it might be a distinct story after a few months, significantly when you’re each exhausted from learning.
In deciding whether or not to just accept this provide out of your boyfriend, take into consideration what it can value him not simply when it comes to cash, but in addition time. If he wouldn’t be going that far out of his approach, driving together with him looks as if a no brainer. But when he’d be spending a pair hours every day driving you round whereas making an attempt to finish his personal research, counting on him for 100% of your transportation wants in all probability gained’t be an awesome choice.
Luckily, this doesn’t appear to be an all-or-nothing determination. You may settle for your boyfriend’s provide, but in addition put aside some cash so that you can provide him a break when he wants it.
As an alternative of budgeting $2,000 a month for ride-sharing, perhaps you possibly can put aside a number of hundred {dollars} a month. You should use that cash to pay for an Uber or keep in a motel that’s near your campus occasionally. When you begin college, you may also wish to ask round to see if any classmates dwell close to you. Maybe they’d be keen to allow you to hitch a trip in trade for fuel cash. Regardless, make sure you throw some fuel cash your boyfriend’s approach.
Your boyfriend seems like a great man, given his willingness to sacrifice for you. It additionally sounds such as you’re appropriately grateful to him. Each time potential, attempt to present that gratitude by releasing up his time in different methods. For instance, you would cook dinner for him or do additional family chores when you dwell collectively.
This case could also be robust, but it surely’s solely non permanent. However when you talk clearly and discover various choices so your boyfriend can prioritize his wants when he’s quick on time, I believe you’ll be capable of make this work.
Robin Hartill is a licensed monetary planner and a senior author at The PNW. Ship your difficult cash inquiries to [email protected] or chat along with her in The PNW Community.